Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

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beholder,eye,literalism,beauty,double meaning,dungeons and dragons
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It really is a very confusing phrase... it's also the phrase that was responsible for my halfling berserker's death in a campaign several years ago, but that's a different story entirely! - Matty Malaprop

As Opposed to What Other Kind?

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contact,double meaning,eye,eye contact,literalism
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Teeth contacts? Ear contacts? Full contacts? Don't even get me started... - Matty Malaprop

They Couldn't Be More Opposite

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contrast,double meaning,eye,homophone,homophones,literalism,opposites,wife,wi-fi
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At full strength, one of them makes you feel powerful, while the other one shuts you down completely. - Matty Malaprop

And Sometimes its Radiance Stings

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beauty,bee,beholder,difference,eye,idiom,letter,literalism,lolwut,similar sounding
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Hive half a mind to contest this statement, but I can't deny the love I feel whenever I look into my honey's eyes. - Matty Malaprop

Source: Pictures and Bad Puns

But You DO Normally Explore the Cosmos...

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brows,carl sagan,eye,eyebrows,homophone,I
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God Carl, why are you always such a big fat LIAR?? - Matty Malaprop

Apple Has a Patent On This One, Too

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apple,double meaning,eye,eye pad,homophone,ipad,literalism,pad
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But can it run Angry Birds? IT BETTER F*CKING RUN ANGRY BIRDS.