In Honor of No-Shave November

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In Honor of No-Shave November
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If you mustache a man why he would feel a fondness for his facial hair, then you'll probably never truly understand. - Matty Malaprop

I'VE SAID TOO MUCH

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I'VE SAID TOO MUCH
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This. This right here. This is my life every damn day of the week. I am not a proud man. - Matty Malaprop

Your Throat Must Be Foal of Phlegm...

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Your Throat Must Be Foal of Phlegm...
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Pygmyponyngitis is a silent but deadly disease -- one that ought be feared by all Dental Floss Tycoons the world over. - Matty Malaprop

Damn You, Daki-Makura!

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Damn You, Daki-Makura!
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She's always spewing out excuses, and all of them are fluff. - Matty Malaprop