To Fix Your Quacked Book Case...

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... and any other household mallardies there might be in your apartment. - Matty Malaprop

This Whole Situation is a Total...

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Oh mallard! Things are getting really real up in this house right now. - Matty Malaprop

Dressed With Greens

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Q: What do you call an entrée of imitation duck meat? A: A Pâté de Fraud Gras. - Matty Malaprop