Some may call it infatuation, but I'm pretty sure it's actually just vertigo. - Matty Malaprop

On a scale of one to 10, this date was a total FAIL.

I see what you did there, mathematically-minded OP. - Matty Malaprop

Just a friendly reminder here to think twice before plopping your soggy teabag down on an unsuspecting saucer. - Matty Malaprop

Seems like it might be time for you love birds to put the pedal to the metal and run away together. - Matty Malaprop

LOLOLOLOLOL and here you thought I was going to publish an actual computer geek joke LOLOLOLOLOL - Matty Malaprop

Better than violation of probation officer, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Guaranteeing extra white teeth is a good way to get yourself in trouble when you come from a predominantly African American neighborhood. - Matty Malaprop