Admit it: You totally thought of the "Pigeon Man" episode of Hey Arnold! after reading this, didn't you? - Matty Malaprop

Beneath his cruel exterior, he's really just too chicken to even try to make friends. - Matty Malaprop

He probably wouldn't even mind if his partner copped a feel at some point in the process. Just sayin'. - Matty Malaprop

Let's go with charming, yeah... - Matty Malaprop

I'm always quite impressed when people tackle puns from this particular angle. - Matty Malaprop

This post is sponsored by M. Night Shyamalan. #notreallybutyouknowwhatimean - Matty Malaprop

Oh, I'm sorry, I actually should have asked: "Have you ever wanted to see a supernova up on your clothes?" - Matty Malaprop