The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop

Punmaster Ceesick says: "The most confusing day of the year at the convention center."

I simply could not bring myself to change Ceesick's title for this post. That's a faux-intelligentsian title straight after my own condescending heart right there. - Matty Malaprop

I keep trying to come up with a pun related to doubloons, but I'm kind of drawing a blank. HALP PLS COMMENTERS? - Matty Malaprop

Or rather, at least he didn't forget to pachyderm anything! - Matty Malaprop

Sure, he's hiding a little bit of dirty laundry, but aren't we all, really? - Matty Malaprop

Then again, corralling another human being into one of these has always proved difficult for me, so who am I to talk? - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, you tried to use div tags again!? DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU DID THAT? - Matty Malaprop