Most sharks aren't particularly picky about what they eat, but sometimes their limits are rather finite. - Matty Malaprop

Last year we had sad, tasteless tweens whining about "Arcade Fires," and this year we have people confused about Bonnie Bears. Stay free, Grammys. - Matty Malaprop

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Inflection is everything. It would behoove you to remember that in the future, Porky. - Matty Malaprop

Someone please explain it to me? HOW IS THIS A PUN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? OH GOD HOW I REGRET SPENDING ALL OF MY TIME IN PRE-CALC LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES AND TURNING PERFECT CIRCLES INTO CRYING EMO FACES IN MY TEXT BOOK. - Matty Malaprop

Not even Clorox can clean the stains of an overwrought franchise. - Matty Malaprop

Is this some weird pseudo-Buddhist parable? IS THE INVISIBLE THYME A METAPHOR OF DAS NICHTS? I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW! - Matty Malaprop