coffee

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Don't believe the Bible; Jesus' greatest miracle was in fact the transformation of water into java. - Matty Malaprop

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Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

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Shame though. The man who found her tossed her out after he was done as though she was just so much trash. - Matty Malaprop