SMP CLASSIC: He Should Have Taken the Espresso Lane

Favorite
SMP CLASSIC: He Should Have Taken the Espresso Lane
- -

Good thing this rendezvous wasn't a race, otherwise he'd have been thoroughly creamed by all of his friends! - Matty Malaprop

It'll Have You Doing Barrel Rolls!

Favorite
It'll Have You Doing Barrel Rolls!
- -

Is your grasp on awakeness starting to get a little Slippy? A cup of our fresh-brewed java will have you Peppy in no time! - Matty Malaprop

He Was a Bit of a Health Nut

Favorite
He Was a Bit of a Health Nut
- -

Oh, did I say health nut? I meant nut. In general. As in totally batsh*t insane and awful. Sorry for the confusion. - Matty Malaprop

Classic Newb Hipster Mistake!

Favorite
Classic Newb Hipster Mistake!
- -

Every veteran hipster knows you don't drink your coffee until you've chain-smoked four cigarettes, duh! - Matty Malaprop

Not So Much Demeaning As Merely Descriptive...

Favorite
Not So Much Demeaning As Merely Descriptive...
- -

Shame though. The man who found her tossed her out after he was done as though she was just so much trash. - Matty Malaprop