He just kept thinking: "What would I have to do to be able to live life on the lam?" - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, it's like you can't even throw out an anchor these days without the Coast Guard getting all up in your aquatic business. - Matty Malaprop

Oh, what a terribly dull joke this truly is... - Matty Malaprop

True story: I have a friend who owns this shirt. He's exactly as nerdy as you'd imagine. - Matty Malaprop

FUN FACT: Your typical judge doesn't take too kindly to puns under oath. I may or may not know this from personal experience. - Matty Malaprop

There are no words I can muster to convey my level of awe over this. - Matty Malaprop

Ugh, this pun is a total snooze if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop