The Best Way to Charge a Phone

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I tried doing this once with my phone, but in addition to being dead, it turns out my battery was also a deadbeat. - Matty Malaprop

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What a Deal!

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People seem to have mixed feelings about this sale. All the reactions are either completely positive or completely negative and nowhere in between! - Matty Malaprop

And Then the Bailiff Clubbed Him

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FUN FACT: Your typical judge doesn't take too kindly to puns under oath. I may or may not know this from personal experience. - Matty Malaprop

Police Always Know How to Put a Negative Spin on Things

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In the end, he wound up in a holding Duracell, but he tried to stay positive about the whole messy affair. - Matty Malaprop

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome