Damn Dogs!

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Damn Dogs!
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He's quite good at it; I'm just upset that he's better at investing than I am! Can you at least force him to give me free lessons? - Matty Malaprop

I Was Lion When I Said There Was a Witch in Your Wardrobe, Too

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I Was Lion When I Said There Was a Witch in Your Wardrobe, Too
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Seriously woman, get off his breastplate! Can't a guy head to the tavern ONCE A WEEK without you knowing his every move in the process? - Matty Malaprop

Why'd They Send Me Sharpies When I Asked For Pens?

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Why'd They Send Me Sharpies When I Asked For Pens?
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Little did he know he'd end up wedding one of those seemingly inadequate sharpies... - Matty Malaprop