Does What it Says on the Label

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Does What it Says on the Label
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TOTALLY TRUE FACT THAT'S TOTALLY NOT TRUE: Turtles have incredibly hairy undersides, and regular waxing is mandatory for all good turtle owners. - Matty Malaprop

Same Great Taste, Now With Added Innuendo!

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Same Great Taste, Now With Added Innuendo!
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Put this one down on the list of "things I'm glad are really actually truly really real." - Matty Malaprop

But Have You Invoked the Right of Parlay?

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But Have You Invoked the Right of Parlay?
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And WHY is the rum gone? And for that matter, give me your keys, idiot. - Matty Malaprop

Apparently These Are David Guetta Lyrics?

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Apparently These Are David Guetta Lyrics?
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YOU PEOPLE UPVOTED DAVID GUETTA LYRICS? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? - Matty Malaprop