And I Do Mean ALWAYS

Favorite
always,before,dinner,hands,hens,literalism,rule,similar sounding,wash
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Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

Ain't Nuffin' Gonna Stop My Muffin Top

Favorite
after,before,literalism,muffin,nothing,related,similar sounding
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Clearly this joke is just shamelessly pandering to all the "30 Rock" fans out there. - Matty Malaprop

With Great Facial Hair Comes Great Responsibility

Favorite
after,before,comparison,ice,ice cube,literalism,opposites,shaved,shaved ice,unshaved
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I just hope this intrepid cube doesn't melt under all the pressure. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe It's the Sharptooth's Fault?

Favorite
before,lan,literalism,Movie,similar sounding,The Land Before Time,time
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Only tangentially related: DO NOT look up how the voice actor for Ducky died. It will give you nightmares. - Matty Malaprop

He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free

Favorite
after,before,behind bars,double meaning,free,Hall of Fame,jail,literalism,Morgan Freeman,not,prison,surname
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... because his voice is lovely, and he's got a talent for narration, and thus he can charge people lots of money to do voiceover work, and so it's not free, since it costs money... - Matty Malaprop