He just can't seem to clean himself up. - Matty Malaprop

Perhaps it's less useful than your standard-issue sleeping bag, but it sure looks comfier! - Matty Malaprop

What he's trying to say is: She really is that ugly. - Matty Malaprop

Just a friendly reminder here to think twice before plopping your soggy teabag down on an unsuspecting saucer. - Matty Malaprop

Shame though. The man who found her tossed her out after he was done as though she was just so much trash. - Matty Malaprop

Well, I suppose their primary product line is intended for a certain kind of feline... - Matty Malaprop

... because the South is waaaaaaaaaay behind on adopting modern recycling practices. - Matty Malaprop