This Inspirational Quote Makes Me Feel Eel

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This Inspirational Quote Makes Me Feel Eel
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I think that's also what you call a surefire way to die of suffocation. But whatever. - Matty Malaprop

Savior the Flavor

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Savior the Flavor
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If the body of Christ were a big, juicy steak, I'd attend church multiple times weekly for communion alone! - Matty Malaprop

*Rimshot*

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*Rimshot*
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You can also call it a scientific marvel, though I suppose that doesn't have much of a ring to it. - Matty Malaprop

The Case is Really Going Viral

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The Case is Really Going Viral
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He probably should have scanned the crime scene for witnesses before committing such a nefarious act. - Matty Malaprop

Or Just 'Sad'

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Or Just 'Sad'
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Seriously, all that involuntary movement can't be good for their sirloins... - Matty Malaprop

Not With That Attitude You Won't!

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Not With That Attitude You Won't!
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Maybe you'll have better luck gaining exposure if you upload your music to the internet? - Matty Malaprop