Guns Don't Kill People. Sodium Does.

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rifle,salt,homophone,assault,suffix
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Punmaster Sofa-Knee says: "'I hope none of my peanut friends ever get a-salted.' -The Man"

Thanks for that write-up, "The Man." Saves me the trouble of having to do one of my own! - Matty Malaprop

Police Always Know How to Put a Negative Spin on Things

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assault,battery,charge,contacts,copper,police,slang,variations on a theme
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In the end, he wound up in a holding Duracell, but he tried to stay positive about the whole messy affair. - Matty Malaprop

No Ware to Run, No Ware to Hide

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salt,knife,cliché,homophones,weapon,deadly weapon,assault
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They didn't manage to off their first victim, though they did leave him visibly shaken afterward. - Matty Malaprop

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