assault

Via: Reddit
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In the end, he wound up in a holding Duracell, but he tried to stay positive about the whole messy affair. - Matty Malaprop

Assault rifles...
By Sofa-Knee (Via: Sofa Knee)
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Punmaster Sofa-Knee says: "'I hope none of my peanut friends ever get a-salted.' -The Man"

Thanks for that write-up, "The Man." Saves me the trouble of having to do one of my own! - Matty Malaprop

Untitled
By xyzpdq1
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They didn't manage to off their first victim, though they did leave him visibly shaken afterward. - Matty Malaprop