Poorly drawn bear arms are bear arms all the same! No bear-taxation without equal bear-representation! Etc.! - Matty Malaprop

Fitting that one should tattoo that constitutional right on one's guns, eh? - Matty Malaprop

Who you callin' ugly?

And one more falls prey to the dreaded phenomenon of spontaneous cottonbustion. - Matty Malaprop

All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop