IT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF MEN MY AGE OKAY???

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IT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF MEN MY AGE OKAY???
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DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY MY ARMADILLO LIZARD HAS UNCOILED ITSELF FOR A PRETTY LADY PLENTY OF TIMES IN MY LIFE AND I'D OFFER YOU PROOF BUT THAT'S ILLEGAL HERE IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET PUT ON A SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE MY WORD FOR IT OKAY????? - Matty Malaprop