No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!

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my hands are tied,tied,idiom,hands,literalism
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Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

She Keeps Speaking French Instead of Spanish...

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taco bell,taco,belle,Beauty and the Beast,cosplay,homophone,double meaning,location-based humor
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There goes the baked guy with his doritos like always / the same old munchies and glossy red eyes. - Matty Malaprop