What the fudge?!
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Because clearly the highest quality paper in the world has a grain that points Heavenward at all times. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled
By xyzpdq1
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Browsing Wikipedia for ~~inspiration~~ for my writeup for this post, I learned that there are many different types of clogs. Traditional clogs, clog sandals, clog boots (!), wedding clogs (!!), low heel clogs, and a giant four-meter long clog in Enter, Netherlands. This information didn't help me write a joke though... all it did was clog my brain with even more useless information.

... I'm going to go cry myself to sleep for having just cracked that one. I'm so sorry, everyone. - Matty Malaprop

Whippet good!
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Just don't let them hound you too much with their eyes, otherwise you'll fall victim to their doggy wiles. - Matty Malaprop