... but it's not really an asset hound, is it? I mean, wouldn't an asset hound be a plastic basset hound bank? #literalismFAIL - Matty Malaprop

He later told the press that he rejected the proposal, stating that it would too much of a Panetta in the ass to implement. - Matty Malaprop

Beneath all the bass drops, his songs are all really just hopeless love ballads to one Lisa Simpson. - Matty Malaprop

It cut my adventuring life short, just like I did that tree with that herring. - Matty Malaprop

Don't believe the Bible; Jesus' greatest miracle was in fact the transformation of water into java. - Matty Malaprop

Hey girl, do you want to save the environment? Because my reproductive rig runs on biodiesel! - Matty Malaprop

Fighting internet unfunniness crime, one shoop at a time. - Matty Malaprop