He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

Further proof that you should be wary of anything that could possibly be classified as "silent but deadly." - Matty Malaprop

Today we're going to be talking about the important differences between upper and lower cases, but I promise you I'm going to keep this lecture brief. - Matty Malaprop

They ain't no Kangaroo Cranes, but they'll do in a pinch I suppose.

No, come back, I want to bite your arm off! - Matty Malaprop

... or maybe just killed by the brute force of a mouse trap. Either way. - Matty Malaprop

Or maybe they just mixed it all with Red Bull in order to give it wings? - Matty Malaprop