Come February 23, Little Caesars Pizza is single-handedly going to give everyone in America a heart attack.
The company announced Wednesday that it will begin selling a new deep dish pizza with a crust that is wrapped in 3.5 feet of bacon.
It will contain two different types of bacon and will also be covered in pepperoni, because you need to eat more meat.
“It’s unabashedly delicious,” said Little Caesars spokesman Edward Gleich. “That’s why we like to say, ‘In Bacon We Crust!'”
This is just the latest in a long line of fast food monstrosities which get a lot of a attention online for their freakish nature and often unhealthy ingredients.
Recently KFC in the Philippines introduced us to a new iteration of its “Double Down sandwich, the “Double Down Dog,” which consists of a hot dog covered in melted cheese with a piece of fried chicken as the bun.
And Pizza Hut in Australia announced back in December that it was selling a stuffed crust pizza covered in Doritos.
Little Caesars’ Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP!DEEP! Dish will cost $12 and be available until April… or when our arteries are sufficiently clogged.
Do you wanna build a snowman, in jail?
The Harlan City Police Department in Kentucky issued an arrest warrant on Wednesday (via Facebook) for Queen Elsa from “Frozen,” blaming her on all the terrible weather.
All points bulletin!!! HPD has issued an arrest warrant for Queen Elsa of Arendelle. Suspect is a blonde female last seen wearing a long blue dress and is known to burst into song “Let it Go!” As you can see by the weather she is very dangerous. Do not attempt to apprehend her alone.
A few weeks ago, a police department in New Hampshire pulled a similar stunt, but targeting the famous groundhog Punxsutawney Phil who predicted 6 more weeks of winter.
The Harlan police have since gotten quite a bit of media attention and were a bit surprised.
“Wow. We were just having a little fun and didn’t expect this,” they said. “But as a reminder, do take the precautions you need to keep you, your friends, family, neighbors and pets safe during the snow queen’s mad spell.”
In all seriousness, the abnormally cold weather is starting to get really old Mother Nature.
Hopefully the CIA will be able to locate the evil mastermind soon and put an end to all of this nonsense.